A Father's Love

My parents divorced when I was young; thus, my father wasn’t as present in my life as those whose fathers lived with them.  My grandparents lived next door to us growing up, and my grandfather gave us more than enough love to guide us and nurture is in the day-to-day growing.  He was a man of discipline and hard work who also loved to laugh and have a good time.  I remember holiday gatherings, with him at the head of the table and cracking jokes.  I remember the way he looked at my gram and the way he looked at my mom and her sisters.  He may not have been one to say it with words, but he loved the women in his life very much.

My stepfather may have started on the periphery when we first met him, but his presence in our lives now is indelible.  He is also a man of discipline and hard work who loves to laugh and have a good time.  He came to every volleyball tournament when I was in high school, even those across the country, something he continues to do with my nieces, his granddaughters.  He climbed through feet of snow to go house-hunting with me, and he has given me much time, sweat, and energy in making my house a home and a safe one at that, something I know he does with my step-brother and sister as well.  His generosity is quiet, and he asks for nothing in return.  

While my dad wasn’t around for the day-to-day stuff when I was growing up, and while we don’t have a typical father-daughter relationship now, I know he’s a good dad.  I’ve seen him with my younger half-sisters; they know they are loved deeply.  I will not lie and say it doesn’t hurt at times, but he and I have our own moments: funny conversations waiting for the movie to begin, seeing all the sci-fi and silly movies no one else wants to see, a shared sense of humor.

My brother-in-law has been a member of the family for 24 years, my sister’s high school sweetheart who’ve built an amazing life together.  I’ve seen my brother-in-law be silly, be serious, be patient, be stern, be playful, be loving, and sometimes, be sad.  I’ve seen him be a brother, a son, a husband, a dad, an uncle, a grand-son, and a friend. Last summer, though, was the first time I had the chance to see him be a dad in the every-day business of it: the disciplining, tucking-in, playing-in-the-sand, meal-preparing every-day business of it.  And it was awesome.

Another Father’s Day comes upon us this weekend, and I’ve been thinking about fathers.  Everyone has a different relationship with their fathers, and everyone defines fatherhood differently.  Some dads are hands-on, some more comfortable providing in other ways.  Some dads are great spiritual leaders, some are stars at the grill.  Some dads rock at crawling around on the floor at play, some make books come to life.  Yes, dads have flaws because dads are humans; sometimes those flaws hurt but sometimes they make us stronger.  

In Luke 15, the Lord tells the story of the prodigal son, taking his inheritance from his father, leaving, and spending it riotously.  Finding himself in dire straits, he worked the fields, eating the same meal as the swine with which he slept, before realizing the offense in his rejection of his father’s love and humbly returning.  Rather than disowning him or lashing out in anger, his father thrilled at his return, embraced him, and called for the finest raiments and a feast.  It is this unconditional love that I celebrate this Father’s Day.  This unconditional love with which I have been blessed by the pretty amazing father-figures I have had in my life as well as the extraordinary fathers with whom I am friends.  Flaws and all, they have inspired me, encouraged me, and made me into the woman I am.  

To you, I wish the greatest of days: may you find yourselves surrounded by good food, good conversation, and may you find the unconditional love you give given in return.