The Melody of Tears

Hunger.  Discomfort.  Frustration.  Grief.  Joy.  Anger.  Exhaustion.  Empathy. Heartbreak.  Hope.  Despair.  Love.  Gratitude.  

I have known many tears, each its own distinct aria in the score of my life.  We all begin with the infantile overture of hunger or discomfort, solace found, if we are fortunate enough, in the loving arms of parents.  From there, our unique experiences form the mood and tone of each movement of the composition.

Joy:  my salvation serenade.  I had never known one could weep with such gratitude.  Tears of rejoicing formed the hymn of a lifetime.

Grief:  an elegy to my pap, former students who have gone on too early, friends who’ve faded from my life.  These tears play a mournful tune, but they are evidence of how I am forever changed from those presences in my life and provide a salve to my grief.

Empathy:  when my friends ache, when my students hurt, when my family suffers, my heart aches, hurts, and suffers.  Our tears compose a chord for a bridge to healing. 

Heartbreak:  disappointed, left, lied to.  Staccato sobs punctuate every wound, every rent in the fabric of my heart.

Hope:  sometimes it flickers, a piano in the back of my mind.  Sometimes it burns brightly with a timbre that deafens.  These tears slide adagio, a soft reprise.

Exhaustion:  bone-deep, world-weariness, a dissonance in my soul.  Physical languor makes me sleepy; emotional fatigue rings like the cacophony of nails on a blackboard, each tear a release.

Frustration:  it wells when I am unable to reach my students, a crescendo that leads to one of two outlets.  Since I am a professional, I choose not to give in to the tickertape of colorful language running across my mind’s eye; thus, tears fill my eyes and sometimes spill over.

Love:  my mom, my sister, my gram, my nieces, my stepdad, my stepbrother, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my friends, my students, my players.  Individual notes in a chorus, these tears conduct the constant refrain of my life.

I have known many tears.  With the grace of God, I will know many more.  I am thankful for the music they bring, the good and the bad.  Without them, without the concertos and duets, without the symphony of tears, life is fractured and incomplete.